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Atheists Only: Your funeral?

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    • CommentAuthorSgtVoodoo
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    Just been thinking about death lots (with a few other threads going on)


    Kinda weird to talk about. Any ideas for your funeral?

    I've been thinking, and I came up with a short list

    1. If theres someone reading a bible over my coffin, I am hopping out and beating that bitch
    2. It better not be a funeral. I think it should be a more of "Celebration of life".
    3. I would love to be put in a little boat and lit up and float out to sea, viking style ;)
    4. I swear if someone spends more than 50$, I am also going to hop out and beat them too
    5. There better be some Tool playing

    Thats about it I can think of. May not even be anyone that comments :P Just wondering, since most of us are Atheists and allAn atheist is a person who believes that the murder of a single little girl— even once in a million years—casts doubt upon the idea of a benevolent God.
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      CommentAuthorMATT
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    I don't care what people do with me after I'm dead.
    • CommentAuthorFerdinand
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    Posted By: SgtVoodoobe put in a little boat and lit up and float out to sea, viking style ;)


    I remember reading about viking deaths and basically some little girl had to volunteer to go with your dead body on the boat and die with you. So they can serve you in the afterlife or something. But get this: they actually volunteered for it. Supposedly a great honor, but I don't think servants were exactly jumping for the spot. And I guess it could get pretty rough.

    As for my own funeral: don't care. It's not about me, it's about my family and friends who will (hopefully) be there and (hopefully) care. If it comforts them to read a bible or party or sing or dance or do whatever, than let them do it. I will be dead. I will have no awareness of the event, it's not to send me off to heaven, it's to help those on earth grieve. If I was somehow aware of anything, and then, if I was aware and able to "watch" the event, I would like music. Live music. My uncle is a musician, my dad plays bagpipes, and they're pretty good at funerals. I would like my family and friends to reminisce happily on my memory. I mean, I want them to care about me, but after I am dead, I don't want them to be sad for no reason, you know? I'm dead, I can't be worth it anymore.Standing in the sun with my heart in my hand
    • CommentAuthorSgtVoodoo
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    Pft I ain't a viking, I just wanna be cremated out at sea

    Yeah I don't want anyone grieving, I want everyone to celebrate that I lived a life at all.An atheist is a person who believes that the murder of a single little girl— even once in a million years—casts doubt upon the idea of a benevolent God.
  5.  
    It's kinda freaky to think about it but I won't deny that I have, considering I just had to plan one a few months ago for my dad. I don't want to be in a coffin because I don't like the idea of being underground in a tight space, but then again I don't like the idea of being burned, though I would want my ashes to be spread out in my favorite place or carried with my loved ones lol.
    I don't know why I'd care so much since I'm doubting an afterlife but there is just something in me that won't let go of that thought. I just really do believe in something after death. It just doesn't make sense to me for it to end..."When one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity; when many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion."
    •  
      CommentAuthorJari
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    I want to go out in some sort of style. However I prefer the idea that my lifeless corpse simply be tossed in a muddy hole while big black thunder clouds arc the sky and rain in a really cool depressing way. As the undertaker tosses the last rock on me a weeping hot chick (or my wife I guess :P) sits there with a rose in her hand all alone as I will die forgotten. Its gotta be somewhere desolate. And have a stone sticking out with not my name, but simply my symbol. Being burnt would be fine I GUESS but the whole lets spread his ashes shit is stupid. Just toss me in a dumpster and get it over with.Live Short & Suffer
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      CommentAuthorvenomfangx
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    Archduke
    Posted By: JariI want to go out in some sort of style.

    Why, I doubt if you came into this world with style.
    I concur: Jari
    Généralement, les gens qui savant peu parlent becoup, et les gens qui savant beaucoup parlent peu.
  8.  
    Posted By: venomfangx
    Posted By: JariI want to go out in some sort of style.

    Why, I doubt if you came into this world with style.


    Again, I missed you VFX. lol. Either that or I'm easily amused :P"When one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity; when many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion."
    •  
      CommentAuthorJari
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    Posted By: venomfangxWhy, I doubt if you came into this world with style


    If you've ever seen my mother you'll understand why I feel the urge to at least make the exit a pretty sight. I most certainly came into the world in sheer horror and ugliness.Live Short & Suffer
  10.  
    If we are dreaming here, then I think it would be cool if they happen to have an open casket my eyes would be set open.:)(\__/) (='.'=) (")_(")
    •  
      CommentAuthorvenomfangx
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    Archduke
    Posted By: breezyspreezymy eyes would be set open

    Why? They can't see anything anymore. I would like to be eaten by ravenous wolves as at least I know I would be recycled ending up as dog shit in the Taiga.Généralement, les gens qui savant peu parlent becoup, et les gens qui savant beaucoup parlent peu.
  12.  
    Posted By: venomfangxWhy? They can't see anything anymore.


    For the wierd-value.(\__/) (='.'=) (")_(")
    •  
      CommentAuthorJari
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    Ooo OO I want my eyes X'd out like in the cartoons! And my tongue can be sticking out at an awkward angle.
    I concur: breezyspreezy
    Live Short & Suffer
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      CommentAuthorvenomfangx
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    Archduke
    Posted By: JariOoo OO I want my eyes X'd out like in the cartoons! And my tongue can be sticking out at an awkward angle.

    Généralement, les gens qui savant peu parlent becoup, et les gens qui savant beaucoup parlent peu.
  15.  
    Posted By: JariOoo OO I want my eyes X'd out like in the cartoons! And my tongue can be sticking out at an awkward angle.



    Haahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

    Or with hair sticking straight up to add to the open eyes, and they have to wait a week b4 having the funeral without embalming.(\__/) (='.'=) (")_(")
    •  
      CommentAuthorJari
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    I figure I could do what this black guy did, he od'd on viagra and his dick was still so big 2 weeks after death they couldn;'t close the casket.Live Short & Suffer
  17.  
    I don't know what to say.(\__/) (='.'=) (")_(")
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      CommentAuthorFearmonger
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    Open-casket, with my eyes removed and replaced with googly eyes.

    I'm classy like that.“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” -Dr. Suess
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      CommentAuthornitrofevr
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    is it odd that I really do not care what they do with me after I die?"So, forget Jesus. The stars died so that you could be here today.” - Lawrence krauss
  20.  
    Nah, my dad wants us to stuff him and then place him in his chair with the clicker in his hand. It's okay if you don't care what happens, just think of something that your loved ones will laugh at when you're gone and you'll be fine.(\__/) (='.'=) (")_(")
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      CommentAuthorMATT
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    Posted By: nitrofevris it odd that I really do not care what they do with me after I die?"Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear." -Thomas Jefferson


    Yes, most people seem to care about what happens after they lose the ability to experience. Humans are annoying like that.
    •  
      CommentAuthornitrofevr
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    Posted By: MATTYes, most people seem to care about what happens after they lose the ability to experience. Humans are annoying like that.


    This is my view as well. People are so hung up on the idea of an afterlife. I will not be there to experience the sentiment people place in what happens to the remains."So, forget Jesus. The stars died so that you could be here today.” - Lawrence krauss
  23.  
    I want mine to be just like how they cremated Jean Grey's body in Marvel 1602: Angel (the X-Man) flies me up into the sky above the ocean then drops me from a hundred feet up then Cyclops shoots me out of the sky with his laser vision from the ship and I turn into a giant fiery phoenix that dissolves into the air as my ashes fall into the water.

    But I'm with Sgt. Voodoo: If I catch anyone with a Bible at my funeral I'm going to come after them in the afterlife and hide their glasses in a different place every morning so they have to search blindly for them every morning for the rest of their lives."I don't intend to achieve immortality through my work. I intend to achieve it through not dying." -Woody Allen
    • CommentAuthorSgtVoodoo
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    Haha

    I want someone to read a car manual at my funeralAn atheist is a person who believes that the murder of a single little girl— even once in a million years—casts doubt upon the idea of a benevolent God.
  25.  
    I want something by Ursula K. Le Guin to be read at my funeral. Preferably quotes from the Dispossessed and the Left Hand of Darkness. Two of my absolute favorites. Works of genius. And much better life messages than the Bible."I don't intend to achieve immortality through my work. I intend to achieve it through not dying." -Woody Allen
  26.  
    Posted By: SgtVoodooHaha

    I want someone to read a car manual at my funeral


    That is funny.


    I want everyone who ever screwed me over to cry endlessly at their lost chance to love me. Oh, that will probably happen anyway. Everyone loves a good funeral.(\__/) (='.'=) (")_(")
    •  
      CommentAuthorFearmonger
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    Posted By: breezyspreezyI want everyone who ever screwed me over to cry endlessly at their lost chance to love me. Oh, that will probably happen anyway. Everyone loves a good funeral.
    Ugh, I wouldn't want anyone whoever made me feel like shit to come to my hypothetical funeral. Pretending like I meant anything at all to them, or that the knew me in the slightest. Screw them.

    I'm gonna say no frumpy, unflattering, and boring black funeral clothes.“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” -Dr. Suess
  28.  
    Posted By: Fearmonger
    I'm gonna say no frumpy, unflattering, and boring black funeral clothes.

    Everyone should be required to come in clown suits. Or, even better, cosplay!"I don't intend to achieve immortality through my work. I intend to achieve it through not dying." -Woody Allen
    •  
      CommentAuthornorml
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    I should hope I don't leave much of a body behind for my funeral, but as for my memorial service... I'm sure the wife will think of something classy. I might leave a few asinine last requests that would inconvenience everyone but they'd feel obligated to carry them out anyway, being silly humans. If my funeral tears my family apart, my work here is done =P"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." ~ Bertrand Russell
    •  
      CommentAuthorFearmonger
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    Posted By: demented cookies
    Posted By: Fearmonger
    I'm gonna say no frumpy, unflattering, and boring black funeral clothes.

    Everyone should be required to come in clown suits. Or, even better, cosplay!
    YES YES YES YES!
    I want everyone dressed up GaGa-worthy!“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” -Dr. Suess
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      CommentAuthorkazza26
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    I am gonna have a humanist funeral and i want have a snow white type burial..in a class coffin above ground...well i can wish....i do want a humanist funeral
    •  
      CommentAuthorMATT
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    What exactly is a humanist funeral?
    • CommentAuthorSgtVoodoo
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    I love humanism, and humanist funerals

    "A Humanist funeral is increasingly common. It’s simply more appropriate for those who neither lived according to religious principles, nor accepted religious views of life or death. A Humanist Funeral or memorial ceremony recognises no ‘after-life’, but instead uniquely and affectionately celebrates the life of the person who has died. Proper tribute is paid to them, to the life they lived, the connections they made and have left behind."An atheist is a person who believes that the murder of a single little girl— even once in a million years—casts doubt upon the idea of a benevolent God.
    •  
      CommentAuthorMATT
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    Meh, I still don't understand wanting to have people celebrate your life. I gues sif other people want to celebrate my life, that's cool, but I don't really care, because I'll be dead.
    • CommentAuthorSgtVoodoo
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    Well I am not saying people should celebrate my life, but they shouldn't grieve.

    Shit happens, I guess if I died in a horrible accident, I would understand someone grieving. But everyone dies, they should celebrate that they delayed it for 80 years, or whatever the case may be, and lived a happy life.An atheist is a person who believes that the murder of a single little girl— even once in a million years—casts doubt upon the idea of a benevolent God.
    •  
      CommentAuthorMATT
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    There's nothing better about dyin an old fart than dying in a car crash as a kid. Either way, I would want more life.

    If people are sad that I'm gone, then fine, they're not going to not be sad just because we think its useless.
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      CommentAuthorvenomfangx
    • CommentTimeJul 31st 2010
     
    Archduke
    Généralement, les gens qui savant peu parlent becoup, et les gens qui savant beaucoup parlent peu.
  38.  
    that's what my funeral will be like. Only instead of clowns everyone will be dressed as book, comic book, movie, or video game characters."I don't intend to achieve immortality through my work. I intend to achieve it through not dying." -Woody Allen
    •  
      CommentAuthorSourdough
    • CommentTimeAug 1st 2010
     
    I would like my funeral to be crazy and fun, but it's really for those that are still alive. I don't even know what kind of people I'll know when I pass, so it could be regular-like or maybe more interesting.It's not about fun. It's about the truth. -House
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      CommentAuthorInferno
    • CommentTimeAug 1st 2010
     
    I want the first part of "Unweaving the Rainbow" read and "Die with your boots on" played.
    After that, ppl should party, be happy, eat loads and get mofo drunk. :)The Cosmos is all that is or ever was or ever will be. -Carl Sagan
  41.  
    I think it would be funny if there were some feud and a fist fight.(\__/) (='.'=) (")_(")
  42.  
    Posted By: breezyspreezyI think it would be funny if there were some feud and a fist fight.

    lol actually i've been to a funeral where one almost happened lol. unfortunately those people are related to me and the subject worth fighting for was money. shockerrr."When one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity; when many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion."
  43.  
    Haha. Yes, a family fued would be a laugh.:) And since I would be dead anyway, I wouldn't have to get involved.(\__/) (='.'=) (")_(")
    •  
      CommentAuthorMATT
    • CommentTimeAug 4th 2010
     
    Posted By: demented cookiesthat's what my funeral will be like. Only instead of clowns everyone will be dressed as book, comic book, movie, or video game characters."I don't intend to achieve immortality through my work. I intend to achieve it through not dying." -Woody Allen
    I'll show up as Lockon Stratos from Gundam00 <3
  45.  
    I would either be Calvin, Cathy, Lois Lane or Wonder Woman.(\__/) (='.'=) (")_(")
    •  
      CommentAuthorAkuta
    • CommentTimeAug 4th 2010
     
    Posted By: demented cookiesthat's what my funeral will be like. Only instead of clowns everyone will be dressed as book, comic book, movie, or video game characters."I don't intend to achieve immortality through my work. I intend to achieve it through not dying." -Woody Allen

    What if everyone ended up dressing up as Pagliacci? lolDeath is life's way of telling you that you've been fired.
  47.  
    Aww... Having Lockon Stratos, Calvin/Cathy/Lois Lane/Wonder Woman, or neither and just Pagliacci at my funeral would be the best funeral ever. <3<3<3"I don't intend to achieve immortality through my work. I intend to achieve it through not dying." -Woody Allen
    •  
      CommentAuthorFearmonger
    • CommentTimeAug 5th 2010
     
    DC, can I come dressed as the Spanish Inquisition??

    NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!
    I concur: Inferno, Sourdough
    “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” -Dr. Suess
  49.  
    You can't now since we would expect you to.
  50.  
    Will you bring your soft cushions? Just in case someone is accused of heresy, of course.
    I concur: Sourdough
    "I don't intend to achieve immortality through my work. I intend to achieve it through not dying." -Woody Allen

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